What is the best support to give a friend?

[tobetinytina]

A friend of mine recently had a baby and she gained a lot of weight during her pregnancy and she's having a really hard time dealing with all of the extra weight. She was always the one in our group of friends who had the best figure, and she was always proud about that. Now she's really quite depressed and I don't know how I can help her feel better and help her with her weight loss goals. Any ideas?

[tara]

Hmm...it's always tough when a friend is feeling down about their body. I think all you can really do is talk to her and listen. Find out what weight loss goals she has (if she has any) and encourage her to follow through with them. Maybe if she wants to head to the gym, you or someone else could watch her baby for that time to give her the freedom to exercise. Or, maybe you should start walking with her everyday (or whenever you can). Walking is a great form of exercise and social interaction and it's also an activity that can include the baby so she doesn't need to worry about making alternative plans for the baby if she wants to go out.

[Maggie]

Aww, I feel for you and your friend hun. I know what it's like to be in her shoes and yours, and there isn't an easy answer. When I was going though it, I found that I responded well to the encouragement of others when they weren't too pushy. My best girlfriend always asked me if I was up for a walk and I found that to be easiest at first. It was nice to talk to her and to bring my baby daughter with us. It felt like visiting with a friend and not a chore. She was also very good at letting me vent and just let me talk. It's always hard at the start but your friend will come around. Just be there for her and remember that there is only so much you can do and if she's not responding to your encouragement, that's not your fault and you haven't failed her. You're a good friend and she knows it.

[tracy1976]

Honestly, I think the best thing that you can do is be there for her. Listen to her when she talks and ask her how she's feeling and what she thinks. Sometimes, the best encouragement you can give is to just be a supportive friend who listens. Just by opening up and talking to you, I think your friend might find a way to motivate herself

[tobetinytina]

Thanks for the support and advice guys. I did take some of it and I'm happy to say that my friend is doing much better. She's losing weight and she's feeling much happier on the whole. I'm so relieved!!!