How to support your wife?

[antoniojones1968]

If there is a magical answer to my question, please let me know what it is!!

If a woman keeps saying that she can’t lose the baby weight, what are you supposed to say to her or how are you supposed to support her?

I’ve tried saying that she looks great – which I genuinely thing she does – but that makes her roll her eyes.

I’ve tried saying that we should both start walking together after dinner because we should be one of those families that really promotes fitness, but that makes her think I’m secretly thinking she’s fat!

I’ve tried telling her that I am going on a diet (thinking she might want to diet together to support each other) but that just gets me a lecture about how much easier it is for me to lose weight.

HELP!

[anne]

It sounds like the best thing for you to do is just to keep a positive attitude and tell your wife that she looks great when you genuinely feel that she does. Support any efforts that she chooses to make, and just try to make things easier for her overall if you can. For example, if she says she's going for a walk before dinner, either ask if you can come, too because you can use a walk, or tell her to have fun, and then get started on dinner so that at least part of it has been prepared for her by the time she gets back. Sometimes the "behind the scenes" support is the best type and it will put her in a way more positive mood.

[Gina]

Wow, AntonioJones, you're really in a place! I think all you can do is try to remain positive and supportive. Don't try to force things at her but stay supportive of whatever she is trying to do. Be interested, too. If she goes for a walk by herself, ask how it was when she comes home. Then, at least, she'll know that you do care (and might be easier on you if she thinks you aren't doing something right later on haha).

[legendarytroy]

I say go on one of those daily deals websites and buy a weekend package at some local spa so that she can go from Saturday afternoon to Sunday morning and she can just relax and feel good and spoiled an healthy. You take care of the kid for those days. It's hard work but then she'll come back a lot happier and life will be easier overall. Totally worth it.

[jenny25]

Aww AntonioJones, you're so sweet! She'll calm down. Just be there for her as much as you can. She's going through a lot. She may not even know exactly why she's reacting as harshly as she is. She's not sleeping and she doesn't feel good about the way she looks. That's really hard on a person! YOu'll both get through it. You certainly clearly are trying.

[tobetinytina]

I hope you're doing ok antinojones1968 and that you were able to find some sort of way to keep the peace. I'd hate to think that the reason you haven't come back here was because your wife attacked you in a fit of rage haha

[Nelly]

Give us an update, AntonioJones! I'd love to hear that you and your wife are doing a lot better in your ability to support each other :) I really hope that everything is going great for you. You clearly mean well and love her a lot.

[antoniojones1968]

Thank you for the support and the ideas, everyone. Things have started to settle down a little bit around my house, ifnally.

I took your advice and did do things a little differently but at the same time, once I'd made a few dinners and kicked in a bit more with the chores here and there, I also sat down and talked to my wife to find out what, specifically, we should be doing to correct this. I thought she'd blow up about it, but she was actually happy to talk.

[jan]

That's so great to hear, Antonio Jones! It's heartening to knwo that your struggle was only a temporary one and that couples can actually still make an effort to overcome some of the struggles that they face in the times when they feel the most tried.

It sounds like you two are great together. I'm thrilled that you are starting a family and that you sound like your'e both willing to make a considerable effort to make sure that your family will be a strong one.

Keep us up to date!

[kellykatt]

That's so great to hear, Antonio Jones! It's heartening to knwo that your struggle was only a temporary one and that couples can actually still make an effort to overcome some of the struggles that they face in the times when they feel the most tried.

It sounds like you two are great together. I'm thrilled that you are starting a family and that you sound like your'e both willing to make a considerable effort to make sure that your family will be a strong one.

Keep us up to date!

That's a really sweet thing to say, Jan, and you're really right. It's great to actually hear about couples who are genuinely trying to resolve their problems and who actually care!

It's too often that we hear about people just fighting or just giving up. It's nice to know that there are still people out there who want things to work out and are willing to put in the effort.