"It's not what you say, it's how you say it"

[char]

When it comes to providing weight loss support, whether its for you or for someone else, think before you speak. Sometimes, it isn't what you say to someone that matters, it's how you say it. For instance, you can provide constructive criticism or express an opinion and be honest, but you can do so without being harsh, sarcastic or too blunt. The truth can be positive. It's how you say something that can change it's meaning.

[CuJo1992]

This is true. You can really soften words so that it sounds more like concern compared to judgment or criticism. That said, in my experience I've found that sometimes no matter how nice you are about something, other people who only see the bad in things will just take your words the wrong way, anywway. It's still good advice, it just doesn't always work.

[madscientist]

I get what you're saying Char, but I have to admit that I seriously hate the phrase "it's not what you say, it's how you say it". A lot of the times it is what people say that's the problem, not how they say it. Personally, I think people need to take greater care in thinking before they speak.

[tara]

I get what you're saying Char, but I have to admit that I seriously hate the phrase "it's not what you say, it's how you say it". A lot of the times it is what people say that's the problem, not how they say it. Personally, I think people need to take greater care in thinking before they speak.

I have to agree, I don't like this saying either. I think it's mostly because I can hear my mother's nagging voice every time I hear/read it. I get that how you talk to people and express yourself matters, but in a lot of cases, it's not just how you're saying something, but what you're saying as well. I mean, seriously, if someone told me I was fat, no matter how they said it to be, I can't say I'd feel all that happy about it. Some stuff that you gotta tell people or that you need to hear, just sucks, plain and simple and no amount of sugarcoating it with soft tones is going to make it better.

[ffviifan]

I personally understand what you mean, Char, and I think it's good advice. There is a way to deliver your words in a way that will ruffle as few feathers as possible. Personally, I think it is both what you say and how you say it. There are always better words you can use and better tones to get the message across. You can say what you mean without being blunt.

[char]

I personally understand what you mean, Char, and I think it's good advice. There is a way to deliver your words in a way that will ruffle as few feathers as possible. Personally, I think it is both what you say and how you say it. There are always better words you can use and better tones to get the message across. You can say what you mean without being blunt.

Thanks ffviifan. That's exactly what I do mean and I think it's great advice. I know none of us like to hear criticism but I certainly respond to it much better when it's given to me with a few kinds words thrown in there and in a nicer, more understanding tone. It's really all I mean. I wasn't trying to bring up anyone's bad mom-related memories from childhood with my advice haha.