A sensitive topic

[char]

How do you tell someone you love they’re getting fat? I’m really concerned about my boyfriend’s weight but I’m afraid if I bring up the subject with him he might not take it well and may leave me. What do I do?

[Mike]

I would let him know your concerns and be prepared for him not to be happy about it, but equally he should't be nasty to you either. If you're afraid he'll leave you because you're giving him an honest opinion about his health that is worrying you, personally I don't think he's worth keeping around.

[tara]

I think you should be honest and tell him how you feel. Maybe ask him how he feels about his weight and whether or not he's interested in making a change. If his response is negative and he makes it clear that he has no intention of changing then you need to make a decision. You need to decide if it's worth it to stay in your relationship or if it might be better that you go your separate ways.

While a person's health is their own business, if they are being dangerous with their health in a way that is effecting you, then you need to step in.

Good luck Char and let us know how it goes.

[bonniekins]

All you can do is be direct and honest with your boyfriend. You can do this without being harsh. Take the health angle. Make sure that you're letting him know that his health is your concern and not his appearance. In fact, you should offer to work on improving your health together, especially if you want to lose weight yourself. What's important is that you don't make it look like an attack.

[tracy1976]

Yeah, I agree with everyone else. Just be straight with him Char. He might not take the news well, but give him time to come around. If he threatens to leave you or does leave you because you were honest, you're better off without him in my opinion.

[Penny]

You can't be afraid to be honest with people, especially with people you love and respect. If he leaves you because you were honest with him...I got to say Char, as tough as that might be, it might be for the best that you went your separate ways...

[char]

All you can do is be direct and honest with your boyfriend. You can do this without being harsh. Take the health angle. Make sure that you're letting him know that his health is your concern and not his appearance. In fact, you should offer to work on improving your health together, especially if you want to lose weight yourself. What's important is that you don't make it look like an attack.

Thanks Bonniekins. I like your advice. I think I will take the health angle. I've been working up to talking to him but I keep chickening out. I think I'll see if he wants to make a change together.

[Gina]

I have a lot of respect for what you're doing Char. I know first hand that it's not easy to tell someone you love that you're worried about their health but it's really important that you let them know how you feel. Let us know how it goes and remember we're always here to support you!

[char]

I have a lot of respect for what you're doing Char. I know first hand that it's not easy to tell someone you love that you're worried about their health but it's really important that you let them know how you feel. Let us know how it goes and remember we're always here to support you!

Thanks so much Gina!

I did finally work up the nerve to talk to him and he actually took it really well. We're going to start walking together and he's open to trying some new foods for his diet. We're gonna do it together and so far it's been going good!